When reality hits...

And so it was, I had acquired my own boat. After two weeks of [chaotic] organization, and lots of sad but yummy goodbyes, I was finally off to begin my newest adventure. I packed up all of my belongings in the van (1990 Dodge Ramvan B150—she’s as tough as can be, and her name is Trudy), and drove from Humboldt County, California to Las Vegas, Nevada where I’d be able to leave her. I had a couple of days with my mother, and then all of a sudden I was in bed in Trudy and it was the night before my flight. Hm… what did I just get myself into?

The next morning I woke up at 5am (9am flight) realizing I had not packed anything. At all. Oh! and I had laundry that still needed to be washed (I would like to be named the Queen of Procrastination). I quickly did a load, and stuffed as much stuff as I could inside my two duffle bags. I was stuffing food in my mouth while calling an Uber to the airport. Luckily everything went smoothly from that point on, and I had a nice flight from Las Vegas to my old stomping grounds in Miami.

I still had no flight booked from Miami to Costa Rica (of course), but the plan was to stay two nights in Miami and fly out on Friday. I stayed with my uncle during my time there. Everything was fine and great the first day, but I woke up on Thursday morning feeling very ill. I started my period that morning, and as per usual, it was accompanied by hours of horrific cramps. It is very seldom so bad, but sometimes these contractions are so painful they cause me to vomit (I wasn’t going to apologize for the TMI, but sorry for the TMI. It’s part of the story, just go with it…). This was one of those times. I tried taking pain medication, I threw up; I tried drinking water, I threw up; I tried eating something, I threw up; I tried sleeping, I threw up. This went on from early Thursday morning until 2am on Friday, when I was finally able to fall asleep (or just passed out, not sure). There was no way you could get me to catch a flight the next day, I was completely depleted.

Friday I did not feel any better, but I had noticed something… This wasn’t the usual nausea from period pains. HELLO NERVES, this was all stress. Everything had happened so quickly and swiftly, I hadn’t had time to process what was going on around me—beyond that, I didn’t really think I had to. I’m just going to buy a boat with no means to buy this boat, and then sail this boat with no idea how I’m going to sail this boat. It’s no big deal!!!! But it was a big deal, and at every second that passed, it became more apparent, and more draining.

I ended up flying to San Jose on Saturday, with plans to make the treck to Bocas del Toro, Panama the following morning. As soon as I checked into my hostel, the nausea rushed back over me like a tsunami. I went to bed as quickly as I could so I could get as much rest as possible, in hopes of feeling well enough to travel in the morning. I would have to be ready no later than 7am if I were to make it on the 9am bus. The night went on, I felt so sick. I took countless trips to the bathroom to spend time under a scalding hot shower, which seemed to be the only thing that would make me feel better (logically, that would lead me to think about how I would feel like this forever, and I wouldn’t have a hot shower on the boat, making me feel more sick). I can’t recall what time I ended up falling asleep, but what I know for sure is that the next morning I was nowhere near ready to get on a bus and face reality. That whole day then consisted of me drinking baking soda and water, crying on the phone with my grandma, sneaking joints on to the roof of the hostel, and feeling so so sick. I have never been constantly nauseous for such a long period of time.

The next morning I forced myself to get to the bus station, no matter how sick I felt. As soon as we left San Jose for the border of Panama, I felt immediately better. My body was reacting to stress of the unknown, and was putting me through the ringer. But it was all happening, and there was no going back. So why feel so bad? As soon as I realized the simplicity and synchronicity of it all, I had the biggest smile on my face. My dreams were coming true! I had a boat! I was going to do this! The adventure had begun, and it would only get more grand from there on out.

Feeling stronger than ever after arriving in Panama, and ready to conquer all the adventures to come.

*Please visit the Fund Me tab to find out how you can support me on my voyages. Any little thing really goes a long way. Life aboard is relatively cheap, but maintaining the boat is costly and is quickly getting out of hand. I want to give my best love and attention to Mara Noka, and to continue our adventures together—please help me do so.